Road Trip!

I get so excited this time of year!  Christmas lights, the music, being with family, wrapping girfts, the ugly ornaments...everything.

This Christmas, we're having Bernie's family's Christmas in Grand Island this weekend.  We're driving over there tonight and staying until Sunday!  I'm really EXCITED!!!

Just to give you a glimpse of my weekend....this is the family I will be hanging with:



Oh...let the Joy begin!

I'm glad I have this weekend to look forward to because unfortunately my dad called my this morning to tell me that my Border Collie, Lucy is going to be put down tomorrow morning if she doesn't make it on her own tonight.  She is one of the best dogs in the world and I am going to miss her soooo much!  Bernie and I are on our way to say good bye and then we will head to Grand Island. 

You're in my prayers, Lucy.  I love you so much!

xoxx

Two and a half weeks!!!

I can't believe it's been two and a half weeks since I have last posted anything.  I hope Bernie isn't mad that I broke a rule....Oh my goodness, so much has happened.  Where do I begin?

This week is finals week at UNL and I managed to squeak by with having my last final on Tuesday.  Usually, I'll have a final on Thursday or Friday!  Bernie had a final yesterday (Wednesday) and one tonight- Ha ha!  I think a bunch of friends are going to celebrate the end of the semester tonight.

Oh some not so exciting news, my dad called me on Tuesday to tell me that my first dog, Lucy isn't doing so well.  I got her when I was in 4th grade so she's pushing 13 or 14 people years.  Apparently, her kidneys are shutting down.  Last night I was going to drive to North Bend and say good bye, but unfortunately the roads were really icy and my parents begged me to stay put.  I wonder if it's a sign, maybe Lucy just needed last night to wonder off down the road, away from the house, and lie down.  I'm so jumpy every time my phone rings in fear it'll be my parents telling me that Lucy is no where to be found. :(  The Vet told them her time will probably be in the next 3 days because she is essentially starving herself to death. Sigh....I don't do well with death.

The base in Grand Island offers a temporary tech job every once in awhile and Bernie contemplated applying for it and finally he decided to apply.  We talked about it for awhile and my first reaction was, if this is going to help him better understand his job and build a strong relationship with the guys he's deploying with, then why not take the job?  But then there's the selfish side of me saying, WHAT!!? We'll be in different cities just months before the wedding.  My 4 and a half months with him before he deploys will turn into a month and a half with him before he deploys. It's hard to understand what it's really going to be like with him gone and all.  At least we'll be able to see each other once in awhile on some weekends.  I keep catching myself trying to catch my breath, I think I have a little anxiety about this job and ultimately, the deployment.

On Sunday we had the Army family dinner and

 Santa Clause came.  It was fun!  There was talk that we were going to have to make up Bernie's Will.  I'm not ready for that...but will I ever be?

xoxx

Article I found

This is an article I found through the FRG group on Facebook.  It's a good way to look at things during deployment.  Take a look.
xoxx

DANGER: Deployment Construction

November 8th, 2010 by Jacey Eckhart

When the kitchen floor buckled in our first house, my husband opened a giant hole in the subfloor to fix the joist. I promptly fell right through. I knew the hole was there. Told myself to avoid it. Fell right through.

That’s how I feel about depresso days during deployment. I know the emotional hole is there, and still, somehow, sometimes, I fall through. Like I did last Tuesday. By the time I got into bed I was missing Brad so much I felt bruised by it. I pulled my pillow over my head and blamed the Navy. Without this stupid deployment, I would clearly not be feeling so bad.

But the longer I huffed the fabric softener, the more I thought that maybe—just maybe—the Navy was not to blame for my crappola day. Brad was not even to blame for my crappola day.

Yup, I missed him. Who would not miss such a good guy? But if I really looked hard at my day, I could see that I’d missed a dozen chances to feel better. I missed doing the things I know that help me shake off a bad day. I let myself watch two episodes of Tosh.O. A Bones I had seen before. The new Glee. That’s three solid hours of TV. I didn’t make a dinner and call the boys to the table. I fixed some stuff and let them eat in front of the TV. I didn’t do the yoga that helps my back. Didn’t walk the dog. Did not eat a single vegetable unless you consider potato chips a veg. ( I do.) I didn’t just fall into the hole. I started digging deeper.

So I got out of bed and ironed three shirts—not every shirt in the pile. Just the top three. I felt better. When Brad is gone, he leaves a giant hole in the life of our family. But it is a necessary hole. He is away working on the foundations of our family. So am I. I just have to learn to avoid that hole, or climb out a little quicker.

Jacey Eckhart is a military life consultant in Washington, DC. She is the author of “The Homefront Club” and the voice behind the award-winning Military OneSource CD “These Boots.” Facebook Jacey or contact her at jacey@jaceyeckhart.com.

Trying to find the motivation to finish my end of the semester projects...

I know, I know.  One of Bernie's rules was that I had to write something in this blog once a week and I'm way overdue.
First off, the Engaged Encounter retreat was really good. Bern and I went in there feeling like we knew everything there is to know about each other (which was great) but the whole purpose of the weekend is to grow closer together with God and also learn more about each other's responsibilities with home front things, like finances, children, careers, etc.  It was a lot of fun and we definitely walked out of there feeling more confident in each other and more in love and more ready than ever to get married. :)

This past week was pretty low key.  I only had 1 class on Monday and two online quizzes (Got A's on both, woot woot) However, I did have to work a bit.

We found a reception hall for our reception that's half the price of the one we originally booked!  I'm really excited about it and it's actually in an easy location from the church! April is approaching fast!

Thanksgiving with my family was AMAZING!  Bernie was with my family the whole time because his family is in Washington for his sister's second wedding reception with the grooms parents and family.
My family ate a lot at my parent's house and then we had dinner at my grandparents' house and boy, did I overeat!

Friday was the Husker's Game (GO BIG RED)  Bernie and I went to that I we beat Colorado so Nebraska is going to the Big XII Championship in Texas on Saturday Dec. 4th...We play Oklahoma.

Yesterday I went back to my parents house and we played this crazy game of Catch Phrase, Password and Charades all mixed into one game.  It was loads of fun!  Almost peed my pants from laughing so much!

Today Bernie and I put up his Christmas tree in his living room and it looks silly but like "us."  Every year Bernie and I have a thing where we each pick out the ugliest Christmas ornament we can find.  As the years go by the tree will get uglier and uglier.  It's basically so ugly it's cute.

I'm suppose to be working on a couple projects that I have to do before next week, but it's so hard to find the motivation to get these done when all I really want to do is grab a quilt, sit by the fireplace and curl up next to Bernie with two big mugs of hot cocoa.

Anyway, I best be getting to those projects!

Happy Holidays,
xoxx

Bummer, dude.

Found out today that our recption hall was booked and we didn't know about it. 

It's our fault because we didn't put our deposit down right away.

Back to square one!

xoxx

Retreat! Retreat!

Wow! It's been a crazy week and the only that's been so crazy is school work.  The semester is finally coming to be close to an end and I have plenty of project due soon to keep me busy :s

Today, actually in about 2 and half hours, Bernie and I are off to a marriage retreat.  It's all weekend long, I'm actually really really excited about it, even though some friends that have gone through it say it's pretty straining.
I've heard that from 7 o clock tonight until 3pm Sunday afternoon, we don't do much but get quizzed on what we will do in our marriage and how we will handle probable problems.  I can't wait!

Sunday, when I get back home I'll make sure to update my blog all about it!

Have a good weeked!

xoxx

E-mails, comments, posts and messages...

Hello all,
First of all, I had no idea how many people actually read my blog.  I've recieved e-mails from mostly women, some men telling me that they like reading it.  Honestly, I'm super flattered, especially because I havn't gotten into too much detail about my life or what's going on with the military life, it's really just mostly this and that...kinda boring stuff.

I haven't had many comments, but I sure have been getting comments in messages.  So Thank you thank you THANK YOU

Thank you all for reading!

xoxx

Post Secret

I'm sure many of you know, but there is a website I am obsessed with.  It's http://www.postsecret.com/
and what it is, is people send in a post card to a man named Frank and he scans it and posts it at his website.

All the postcards are annoyomous.  Some are hilarious and some are not so hilarious.  New posts get put up every Sunday.  And this Sunday Frank posted a video of Soldier's secrets.

Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG11XbSADXE

xoxx

Mr. and Mrs. Micky Jennings!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Had a wonderful time at Bernie's sister's wedding this weekend!  She looked gorgeous!

Congratulations, Amy and Micky!

Perfect distraction

This week was a weird week.  Not really sure why is was weird, but it went by fast and I realize I have SO much more to figure out.

This summer, I have to do a 400 hour paid internship at any hotel or restaurant or airline/airport or cruise.  Basically I can go anywhere, but I need to get a job there for 400 hours.  I really thought I'd complete the 400 hours at Embassy Suites, where I work now, but I'm kinda wanting to be a little more adventurous while I can be.

Heres the timeline, however.

April 9th- Bern and I get married!!

May 26th- Bern deploys.

May 30th ish- I need to start my new 400 hour job.  

Is it a good idea to be away from home after sending my husband off to Afghanistan?

Should I leave Nebraska and have the perfect distraction of my new job?

My roommate Jordan, also the coolest girl I know is going to Colorado for the summer and we've talked a few times about me working in Denver or Castle Rock at a hotel.  Sounds great, right?

My aunt and uncle once mentioned to me that I should get a job at the Crown Plaza in Venture, CA (where they live) and live with them for the summer.  Perfect distraction, right?  Still with family, but far away from home.

Otherwise, I could be super adventurous and go to a cruise line somewhere or toward to east coast or something out of the country.

Lots to think about, and soon.

This weekend is going to be great!  Bernie's sister, Amy  is getting married on Saturday.  I'm going to Omaha to see her on Friday and help with last minute details and such.  Amy's brother's John and Bernie are at drill today and tomorrow and will HOPEFULLY make it to Omaha on time for the rehearsal...They are both in the wedding.

Lissy, John's wife is going to be there too.  We're both bridesmaids.  I'm kinda bummed because last night I found out the Bernie and John both have to go back to Grand Island for drill on Saturday night or Sunday morning. (Leaving around 4:00am) if they stay the night Saturday.

I never knew that Bernie had to go back on Sunday for drill so when he told me right before he left last night I was pretty bummed.  The thing that sucks about the Army and what makes it so hard is that when they have to go, they HAVE to go.  Something I just have to get used to.

Anyway, bring on the wedding!

xoxx

Time's Up

It's been a week.  I can't break Bernie's rule and so I must say something, but it getting late and I'm exhausted.  I'll write a long one tomorrow.

Good night
xoxx

April 9th it is!!!!

Bernie and I made the final decision to keep it April 9th!

164 more days!

February or April?

We just got news from our priest and it is a big possibility to get all of our marriage classes completed before Feb 25th.
So now, the question is:
February or April?

Feb 25th or April 8th?

HELP!
xoxx

"Dang it, does this mean I need to learn how to spell 'February?"

Today has been a wonderful and very successful day, however Bernie and I have a lot to think about.


Last night, it kind of hit Bern that we're only going to live together for a month and a half before he deploys.


If there is one thing that I have learned over and over and over again from any Army Wife it is this:  HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PLANNED FOR THE TWO (2) WEEKS PRIOR TO THE DEPLOYMENT DATE.  Nothing, nothing at all.  No work, no luncheons, no last minute road trips, nothing. Now, the reasoning to this is because our families are going to be at a high stress level...everyone will be.  No one knows what to do, what to expect, how to budget time wisely.  The last thing I'm going to want is to be away from him so as I pass along the advice I've been told, block out those two weeks before he deploys, hunny because you're never going to get those two weeks back and you want to be readily available to do anything for your hubby and his family.


Having that said, Bern and I know that it's not going to seem like we have 6 weeks together as newlyweds because he'll have his Army buddies calling him and wanting to hang out, he'll have his family, and his non-Army buddies wanting him to come out for a beer, his unit is going to do last minute training, and packing, and standard pre-deployment things and stuff like that.  So really, we're going to have what will seem like a couple hours as husband and wife before he heads out.


Now, again, having all that said, Bernie brought to my attention that even though I was joking yesterday about have a January wedding because I loved the way a table setting was displayed, we should move the wedding.
He was serious.  I couldn't believe it.  "Not in January," he says because you run into SO many weather storms in Nebraska and you never really know when they're going to hit.  "Not in March, because I have 21 days of training in Grand Island," he says.  "I know what about February......the 25ht?"  My first reaction was, "Dang, this means I need to learn how to spell February."


I know you think we're crazy and nothing is set in stone.  We're going to talk to our priest about getting on the fast track for our premarital courses/marriage classes and see if it's possible to accomplish the classes in 4 months.  In the past I have heard that they take 4-6 months....good thing we're meeting with our priest on Friday for our first marriage meeting because Feb 25th is exactly 4 months from today.


The thing that makes my feel like our day was so successful is that WE FINALLY FOUND OUR RECEPTION HALL!!!!!!!!  AHHH! I'm so excited!!  And it's only 2.6 miles from the church!  I gotta keep you on the edge of your chair a bit so I'm not going to tell you quite yet where the reception site is.  You'll have to wait until is completely set in stone...along with whatever date we decide!  So much to think about this week!


Anyway, I hope you had a great Monday!
xoxx

Bridal Fair with Mom

My mother, Jill is the greatest woman I have ever met.  She's the rock in our family and I love her to death!  She really is the greatest Mom in the entire world!  I never worry about being alone while Bern is gone because I know my mom will do anything to be there to comfort me in my lonely times.

Today, there was a bridal fair my mom and I attended.  She drove into town to see all the venders and we even sampled wine and cake, delicious!

I have so many ideas about this wedding.  There was a table set up with a wintery theme and I fell in love with it.  I texted Bern and jokingly asked him if we could move the wedding to January.  Surprisingly, he said that he'd be okay with it, we just really have to get a move on with this wedding.  Don't worry.  We're keeping it at April 9th.....for now.

I got a bunch of cool ideas and my mom told me about a website that has cool decorations for less.  www.save-on-crafts.com  I just checked it out and it's pretty cool!

Bernie is on his way over to look at more wedding stuff and do some more planning so I best be getting all the stuff out.

xoxx

Bernie's Rules

I really didn't think I was ever going to keep this blog a secret from Bernie, but I kind of just forgot to tell him.  When I did tell him, he was very excited and told me that he has a few rules.
The first rule is that I HAVE to put up a new entry/post at least once a week. I'm okay with that rule.  It'll keep me busy and Bernie really would like a new entry to read every week while he is away.  I really didn't think much of it, but Bern is SUPER excited that he can read my feelings and things I go through every once in awhile in a different perspective.  He mentioned how it's cool because it's like I'm talking about him as he's a fly on the wall kind of thing.  Either way, once a week is the minimal standard.
The other rule was quite obvious but I can't give out any information about location or dates on here. I knew that was a rule, however, Bern won't be able to tell me much anyway so there is no way anything could slip online.
Third rule: I can't embarrass him.  I laughed and told him it's my blog and I can really do whatever I want.  I reassured him I won't try to embarrass him. :)

Mol

The journey of an intense experience

Hello and thank you for visiting my blog! 
There are many reasons why I began to start this blog.  My first and foremost reason is to help other men and woman who are going through the same thing I am by informing them about my expierence as a military wife.  Another reason I really wanted to do this blog is to help me.  I get so full of emotion and don't usually know how to express it. And I hope that putting things down on paper (well on blog) will help me cope with the intense expierence I'm about to go through.

To begin, I must inform you that I am not a military wife...yet.  I'm getting married to a Chinook and Helicopter mechanic on April 9th, 2011. 

Bernie and I have been engaged for two days over a month now and have been together for three and a half years.  We met in high school of our junior year with a graduation class of 20 students.  I'm sure you'll hear all about wedding details thoughout this blog because I am actually going to school to be an event planner, but I won't graduate until December of 2011.

Because of Military protocal, I will not be given any top secret details about where my husband will be based, or when he will be coming home for some R and R or home for good.  What I can tell you is that he is in an avation unit based out of Grand Island, Nebraska and is in the Nebraska Nation Guard.  Bernie is scheduled to deploy in the end of May, however he will be in the States for two months before going over to Afghanistan. He'll be gone for a year.

Yesterday, I went to my first FRG (Family Readiness Group) meeting in Grand Island.  It was nice to know that I'm part of something; I'm part of a group of wives who are all having to part with their spose or boyfriend or father of their children or family member or best friend.  The lady leading it all spoke about the emotional cycle that we should all prepare ourselves for and in all honesty, it's a ROLLERCOASTER of emotions.  I won't go into too much detail there are 7 stages.
1st- Anticipation of departure
2nd- Detachment and Withdrawal
3rd- Emotional Disorganization
4th- Recovery adn Stabilization
5th- Anticipation of Return
6th- Return Adjustment and Renegotiation
7th- Reintegration and Stabilization

Thoughout my expierence, I'm sure you, as a reader, will be able to pick out what stage I, myself or you or my husband will be going though.

At the meeting, I caught myself wanting to burst into tears and the Military Family Life Consultant didn't even say anything that was intense.  Later, I found out that Lissy (who I will mention later) was feeling the exact same thing. She explained, "This is the first time I've felt uncomfortable about their deployment." 

 Lissy is a wonderful person! Genuine all the way to the bone and the biggest sweetheart I have ever met.  Lissy has been married to John, a flight engineer, for a little over a year now.   John and Bernie are brothers and are deploying together in the same unit.  John and Lissy live in Grand Island close to the base, where John works full-time.  Lissy is like a big sister to me.  I'm sure there will be tons of trips to her house with comfort food and movies.

Basically, I'm scared and not really sure how everything is going to play out.  I'm excited to marry Bernie in April, but terrified of him leaving less than two months after we've started our new life together.  I'm glad I'm not going through this alone.  And I'm glad I have readers, somewhere out there, who are listening to the journey of an intense expierence.

Thanks for reading,
Mol

*Where families can get help: Military OneSource, DoD's 24/7 Call Center (1-800-342-9647, http://www.militaryonesource.com/)