Zooming

Today was weird.

I'm in this stubborn funk and I can't find the energy to shake it.

Bern and I have been cleaning house all day and packing everything up in boxes and moving them to the storage unit.  We just got the keys to our storage unit yesterday.  We've decided to lock everything up for the year Bern is deployed.  I took all the paintings and pictures down, wrapped some bubble wrap around them and taped up the box. I caught my heart feeling like it was sinking towards my stomach after every box I taped up, but after I took pictures down, it was hard to fight the tears. It's sad to have to pack everything up.  Bernie, who seems to always be in a good mood, keeps mentioning how excited it's going to be when he comes home and how we'll open up the packed boxes as if it's Christmas.  Gotta love his optimism.

By the time I drove to work, I was on the verge of tears.  No clue why.  The girls I work with said hi and I had a ten second bawling fit. After that I was fine.  Happy to be at work and ready to start the shift.  Why am I like this? What's wrong with me?

I've decided to stop being so zoomed in on my life right now. I keep thinking about what's going on tonight, tomorrow morning and maybe I think as far as the weekend, but I don't look any further because I know D-Day is right around that corner I refuse to peek around.  In reality, I need to shake this ugly funk I'm in and zoom out. 
I need to start looking at the bigger picture.  Bernie's deployment is a year. Just a year.  Not 7, not 5, not 3, but 1. One year.  Bern and I plan on living to be somewhere in our 80's (at least) before we pass, so one year out of the next 60 I'm going to live, is soo small. So small. It's time to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.  This year I have so much going on.
Here's the game plan:

May 14-Bernie and John's going away party
May - move to Grand Island
May- Bernie leaves :(
June 1- Start internship at the reception hall in Grand Island
July- Baby Nicola (John and Lissy's) is born!
July- Go to Texas to say a final farewell to Bern before going to Afghanistan
July- One of my best friends, Stephanie gets married!
August- Move back to Lincoln/Start my LAST semester of school
August- Another one of my best friends, Jenna, gets married!
December- Graduate
January- Get a real job
May- Run a half marathon with my mom
May- Bernie comes home :)

This year is going to fly by! I'm really excited for all the activities the rest of this year and the begininning of 2012 hold. 

Random fact: 4 years ago, tonight, Bern asked me to be his girlfriend.

xoxx